Sometimes in a moment of clarity, I’ll see you in my mind. And I realise that you were never as perfect as I’d made you out to be.
And I laugh, momentarily, I laugh because it’s ridiculous how in love with you I was and I feel stupid for not seeing you as you really were. And for that one moment in time, I finally feel free, and I question whether I’ve finally moved on, whether my conscience has finally won this never ending battle against my heart.
I smile, for the first time in what feels like an age. I grin. I giggle. I dance around the room like a spritely bumble bee, imagining that I can fly into the unknown with nothing to weight me down.
I am free. For now.
But then just as quickly as it arrived, this moment of clarity fades. I remember how your hands caressed my face. How you looked me in the eye and told me I was the most beautiful thing on this earth. I remember how you picked me up like I was the lightest feather even though I think you must have been struggling.
I remember your laugh, your smile. Your body pressed up against mine and for that moment, that single moment.. I believed that I had found it; love like in the movies.
It’s funny how a moment can make you feel so alive, and that same moment can break you. Break you into a million pieces and never look back."